In the dim, endless white halls of their old base, I sat atop a crumbling throne made of bones and sand, glaring at the squad of idiots in front of me — the Bone Circle. Aizen was sitting obediently by my feet like the loyal… thing he is, occasionally wagging his tail. Yammy was trying to chew on a rock. Nakeem and Di Roy were arm-wrestling using their tongues for no reason. And now, thanks to my revenge stunt, Grimmjow was sitting grumpily in the corner in full panther-woman form, sharpening her claws while muttering death threats under her breath.
I sighed, rubbing my temples.
"Ugh… we're hopeless."
I thought to myself — Bone Circle might be the strongest gang in Hueco Mundo, but we were also without question the dumbest. Not a brain cell in this room could avoid my passive stupidity aura. Except… now we had a female member. And that meant we needed balance. A smart one. A genius. Someone so ridiculously intelligent, they could stay at least half-functional even with my aura.
I turned to the only person left who wasn't currently licking a wall.
"Shawlong," I called.
He perked up. "Yes, boss?"
"You're the smartest here, which is like saying a slightly less broken stick among snapped twigs," I grunted. "Know anyone else genius-level smart who could join us and not be turned into an idiot?"
Shawlong tapped his chin, then his eyes lit up. "Actually… I do. My younger twin brother."
I raised a brow. "Wait, you have a brother?"
He nodded. "Yep. Name's Szayelaporro Granz, genius level intellect, twisted sense of humor, highly narcissistic, extremely flamboyant… and he makes lewd, disturbing comments."
I blinked.
"…So basically a pink pervert?"
"Essentially."
I rubbed my hands together. "Perfect. I don't care if he's a narcissistic, flamboyant creep — if he's smart enough to counter my aura, I need him."
Shawlong raised a hand. "Fair warning though, boss — he's also the type to dissect his own men for fun and monologue about it for hours."
I shrugged. "We'll keep Yammy near him. Sacrifices must be made."
Yammy, still chewing a rock, raised his hand and shouted, "YEAH!"
"Good enthusiasm, big guy."
I hopped off my bone throne and cracked my knuckles. "Alright, squad — Operation: Find the Pink Weirdo is a go."
Aizen barked in approval.
Grimmjow growled. "You better fix this first!"
I ignored her.
"Let's move out, Bone Circle! Time to recruit ourselves a genius!"
And so, with a gang of idiot, a panther-lady, a wagging dog, and an obsession for balance in my idiot crew, we headed out into Hueco Mundo to find Szayelaporro Granz… and probably deeply regret it.
Current EP: 13,502,000 / 1,000,000,000