Current EP: 960 / 10,000.
I was so close to my first thousand, I could practically taste it.
Which — as it turned out — tasted like sand. Because I'd just eaten a handful to see if it gave me bonus points.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Ate sand like an idiot — +50 EP]
Current EP: 1,010 / 10,000
[BONUS: First 1,000 EP milestone reached! Keep up the stupidity, champ!]
I grinned beneath my mask. Or maybe grimaced. It was hard to tell with no lips.
That's when it hit me.
A genius-level dumb idea.
If I could fight a cactus, and I could build a sand version of myself, what if… I organized a Hollow Battle Royale?
With only one contestant.
Me.
I called it "The Great Sand Wrestling Federation".
"GRUOOH!"
(Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to ruuumble!)
I immediately set to work. I made four more sand sculptures — one with a big head, one with three stick arms, one shaped like a duck (don't ask), and one that was basically just a lumpy mound I called "Big Tony."
Then, I declared war on them all.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Declared battle royale against inanimate sand opponents — +200 EP]
Current EP: 1,210 / 10,000
I tackled Big Tony first, dropping a dramatic elbow from the top of a nearby rock.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Used wrestling move on sand — +100 EP]
Current EP: 1,310 / 10,000
The other Hollows were watching again. A crowd was forming. I was Hueco Mundo's hottest new entertainment.
One even brought a bone to gnaw on like popcorn.
Next, I body-slammed the duck-shaped sand sculpture.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed body slam on abstract bird — +150 EP]
Current EP: 1,460 / 10,000
After that, it was pure chaos.
I was dropkicking piles of sand, clotheslining imaginary foes, and suplexing what may have been a dead cactus.
Somewhere in the middle of it, I invented a finishing move: "The Idiot's Elbow" — which involved tripping on purpose, then landing elbow-first on whatever was nearby.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Created original finishing move — +300 EP]
Current EP: 1,760 / 10,000
The Hollows watching started mimicking me.
One did a wobbly somersault and landed flat on its back.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Inspired mass Hollow idiocy — +500 EP]
Current EP: 2,260 / 10,000
Holy crap. I was a trendsetter.
By the time the "match" was over, every sand sculpture lay in ruins, the crowd had either faceplanted or was rolling in the sand, and I had needles stuck in my butt again because apparently there was another cactus I hadn't seen.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Sat on a cactus twice in one day — +200 EP]
Current EP: 2,460 / 10,000
I stood tall on my rock, raising my arms.
"GRUOHOOOH!"
(I am the champion of stupidity!)
The other Hollows howled back, either in support or confusion. Didn't matter.
I was a legend now.
And I wasn't even a Gillian yet.
[EP: 2,460 / 10,000]