Even though the discussion was sounding more and more like a serious drama, Mu Qiuxin still couldn’t let go of her love for dog-blood plots.
After jotting down Brother Cheng’s train of thought, she hesitated and asked, "Do you think we should add something like... enemies with a blood feud who fall in love, love full of misunderstandings, and in the end someone dies full of hatred and loses their memory?"
Cheng Zhirang was silent for two seconds. "You want to act in a tragedy?"
"A little angst is fun, heavy angst is bad for your health. If you want the story to stick in everyone’s minds longer and clearer, it can’t just be bland and plain."
"Then in your opinion, how should we add it?"
Mu Qiu thought for a moment. "How about... Brother Huai falls in love with Sister Shu Ran on his road to revenge, but then he discovers Sister Shu Ran’s older brother—aka you—is his enemy. And then I, as Sister Shu Ran’s younger sister..."
Cheng Zhirang’s expression grew more and more strange.
Mu Qiu paused and explained, "Don’t get me wrong, there won’t be any incest plot. But it really is a mess like this. How about we go back to that previous type of story?"
"Brother Huai and I are siblings, but your family frames us and our home is raided and we’re exiled. Then after Brother Huai grows up he wants to kill you to take revenge, and since he knows you like women in red, he cross-dresses to get close to you. But you see through him in one glance. To humiliate him, you not only imprison him, you also capture his little sister—me—and drag me in... and then it becomes a whole you-chasing-me-escaping abusive romance."
Cheng Zhirang: "Can we not have an abusive romance?"
"Sure. Then I get triggered by the blood feud between us, go psychotic, stab you both to death in one strike, and ascend to immortality."
Cheng Zhirang: "...It’s... not impossible."
He gave up.
Mu Qiu clapped her hands. "So you like this kind of thing. Fine, I’ll indulge you, let’s go tell Brother Huai this brilliant inspiration."
She casually picked up a sword from the wooden rack. Cheng Zhirang saw it but said nothing, just quietly reminded her, "It might be real, don’t hurt yourself."
"Got it."
Leaving the General Mansion and retracing the road back, they happened to run into Guan Yu and the others coming out of a shop selling liquid nitrogen ice cream. All three were eating, and Guan Yu even tilted her head back to spray a puff of white mist from her nostrils on purpose.
They really were eating and playing to their hearts’ content.
Mu Qiu let out a "Hah!" and drew her sword, pointing it at Guan Yu. "What kind of demon are you?! Daring to dress so revealing in broad daylight, wearing such weird clothes, and even spraying mist out of your nose! Put down what’s in your hands at once and raise your hands!"
Guan Yu didn’t even spare her a glance, still eating. "If you want to eat, just say so. You’re so dramatic. It’s fifteen yuan a bowl inside, the show pays, eat as much as you want."
Mu Qiu immediately sheathed her sword and dragged Cheng Zhirang inside.
When they came back out, they were also holding a bowl each, eating while exhaling with their mouths open, liquid nitrogen mist billowing out.
Guan Yu finished her own and then pinched a toothpick to poke at the bowl in Mu Qiu’s hands.
Mu Qiu dodged away and refused to share. "What kind of demon are you?! Dressed weird, and now you even dare rob people in the street!"
"...You’re so dramatic. Hurry up and get me two more, I haven’t played enough. If yours isn’t enough, go eat Brother Cheng’s."
Cheng Zhirang directly handed his bowl to her.
"Want it?"
Mu Qiu shook her head, then went back to fighting with Guan Yu over the green liquid nitrogen ice cream in her own bowl—that was matcha flavor, and pretty tasty.
After they squatted down and finished the ice cream, with nothing better to do, Guan Yu and the others followed Mu Qiu and Cheng Zhirang back to the shabby little temple.
As soon as Shi Yuhuai saw them, his head started to ache, especially seeing all of them together—that was even more of a headache.
Mu Qiu squatted in front of him and put the two untouched ice creams Cheng Zhirang had left beside him.
"Brother Huai, do you want to eat these two? The kind that gives off white mist!"
Shi Yuhuai tugged on the chains around his wrists and flatly turned her down. "No."
"All right then, I’ll just have to tell you a story directly."
"...It’s not like I couldn’t eat two."
But he couldn’t free his hands, and using his mouth to hold them would be awkward, so the job of feeding him fell to Cheng Zhirang.
The dark-robed man’s face was indifferent as he fed snacks to the injured beauty in red—the more you looked at the scene, the more atmospheric it felt.
Guan Yu sat on the ground nearby, seeing that they’d started eating, and patted the ground. "What about the story? We’re waiting for the story."
"What’s the rush? The story’s coming right up. So here’s the deal, Brother Huai: Brother Cheng said he thinks all that love stuff is too small in scale, if we’re going to play, we should play big.
So, Brother Cheng and I have a duel and stab each other, and you’re the weapon Brother Cheng hid away to use against me—my brother, who I thought was dead somewhere. In the end he tortures you to death right in front of me, I go psychotic, stab him to death with one strike, and set fire to burn both of you. What do you think?"
Shi Yuhuai was shocked by how cruel this leveled-up version of her story was.
"Before you wanted me to talk about love, now you’re straight up after my life."
"Hahahahaha don’t get the wrong idea, she might just purely want to set fire and burn you both!" Guan Yu was listening and cracking up, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
Xu Jihua really lived up to being the benchmark for young actors; even now he was still looking for plot holes in her story. "Then why does he have to cross-dress?"
Mu Qiu answered without missing a beat. "Because Brother Cheng’s aesthetic is kind of twisted and he thinks this is the best way to humiliate him."
Cheng Zhirang: "...My aesthetic is not twisted."
"But it can be twisted. Just take one for the team, otherwise how are we supposed to write it so it makes sense?"
He thought for a moment and said, "It could be that you’re barely scraping by, and in order to survive you have no choice but to pretend to be girls."
"Then let me ask you, what kind of place would make people think it’s easier to survive as girls there? Safer, less likely to be found?"
Song Weili, who was occasionally smart, spoke up. "A place of ill repute? A brothel?"
Cheng Zhirang: "..."
Shi Yuhuai: "...Forget it, just set me on fire."
Guan Yu laughed so hard she slapped the ground. "Hahahahahaha it hasn’t even officially started and Brother Huai has already lost the will to live, hahahahahaha!"
The laughter was so loud that half a mile away, Li Yang and Shu Ran and the third person could hear it.
By the time they walked up, Guan Yu was still sitting on the ground laughing nonstop.
Shu Ran glanced at Shi Yuhuai, then at Mu Qiu, and asked, "What are you doing laughing so loud? We could hear you from half a mile away."
Guan Yu wiped the tears from laughing and answered with a question, "Why are you back again? Got a story?"
An Zhou now practically looked like a programmer. He pushed up his black-rimmed glasses with no lenses and said, "We’ve long had a story, it just wasn’t that great. Now we’ve cooked up another one... to tell Brother Huai."
Shi Yuhuai mechanically tugged at the chains and covered his ears.
Mu Qiu: "Brother Huai, you can be our story bucket, don’t cover your ears. Listen to stories, it’s such a good thing, adding an indescribable joy to your life in the little dark room."
Shi Yuhuai repeated the same line from before. "You might as well just set me on fire."
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ps: The author’s note from the day before yesterday got swallowed again, and I was wondering why I hadn’t seen your comments. Here’s the deal: you guys can make up stories for the guests anytime, and also vote on their stories and performances. I’ll wrap up this episode based on everyone’s opinions, how’s that?