Chapter 64
I was wearing this black sleeveless dress with 2 inches heels. I retouched myself.
My eyes are no longer so obviously bumpy. I put eyeliner and thick fake eyelashes. I tried so hard to smile at the mirror. I smiled somehow even though that smile was too bitter.
They are already looking for me. I need to go out again for the last speech. I will try my best not to cry.
I blew, because I was feeling nervous. My chest was throbbing so fast and I could feel the pain. It's like I'm choking.
It’s so hard to accept the fact that I lack a lot. I don’t know much. It's also very hard to accept that Mommy is not my real mother.
B
U
T .... she makes me feel that she loves me very much. I never felt that she lacked love for me ... BUT ... she lied to me.
What should I do now?
I stood without taking my eyes off the mirror. For the last time, I smiled on it, then I leave my room.
I was greeted by some guesses that were beyond my ears with a smile, so I forced myself to smile.
"Happy birthday, hija," a business partner of Mommy and Daddy greeted me. I just smiled in response then continued walking. I bowed as I walked out of the mansion where the venue was.
I was shocked when someone wrapped around my arm. I looked at him and caught the bright smile on Caleb's face.
“You took so long to retouched yourself,” he said.
“I fell asleep,” I replied then we walked. He took me to the stage at the other venue which is just near the pool.
I grabbed the microphone but I hadn't spoken yet and I just looked at them one by one.
On the side, near the pool, Leighden stood soaking wet and shaping her body. I saw Iries standing near to her, holding wine. I can't find where the other guests are or maybe they are still in the pool. Mommy and Daddy stood watching me.
I focused my gaze on them. I couldn't even smile back at their sweet smiles on me. Even if I insist, I really can’t help but smile every time they smile at me.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," I began to greet them so that they could focus their attention on me.
I took a deep breath as I looked around at them.
I can't feel the joy I used to feel. I could not feel any comfort.
Every time I look at my parents, my heart aches as if it is being scratched like paper or scratched like a can. Not even their sweet smiles were like blades cutting into my heart.
"I did not expect to experience such a fancy celebration," I continued. I don’t know where or with whom I will look. If only I could look at what I was stepping on, I would.
I had to pretend I was okay, as if nothing had happened. I had to force myself to draw the smile on my lips. I had to hide the ache and pain in my chest and show how happy I was.
I did not expect this. Was I so uneasy then? Can I not feel the excitement of my debut because this is what will happen? There were signs, I didn't even notice.
A very soft melody rang out as I thought of what to say next, so it was as if the cold had embraced my whole body and my heart.
“... I never wanted anything like this before. I am happy because I have my family and a friend. I am happy that somehow I am with them and they let me feel that they love me,” I stopped to look at my parents. Their faces are full of joy and their smiles are already passing through their ears that I can't reciprocate even with a fake smile. "... I have everything that I want. I could buy anything that I desire, but ... money can't buy my happiness," at that moment while looking at the people, I tried to smile but when I looked at my parents, suddenly, the forced smile disappeared from my lips. "My parents are my happiness, so even though they only spend little time for me, I feel so much joy and happiness," I stopped and took a deep breath. For this time, I really forced myself to smile while pointing them. "... my parents, my love of my life," I said while pointing at them. Some in the audience stared at them.
I looked away from them and turned to something else when my gaze struck Bria.
From where she stood and where I stood, our eyes met. My chest seemed to get tighter and tighter, but I was forced to hide that and draw the fake smile in my lips.
"I want to let them know, to let everyone know, that I am so glad to be their daughter and that I have them as my parents."
I stopped when my chest tightened again as if my heart was being torn apart again, so I couldn’t look at them.
I am trying hard my best so that the tears do not flow in my eyes again.
"I love them unparalleled and that will never change," I continued and then I looked at them. At that moment, I smiled, a bitter smile and they whispered the words I Love You to me.
I looked again at Bria who was still standing. She's wearing lavander smocked dress.
"Lastly ..." I was still looking at her. "I want to introduce someone, a special girl," I continued while not taking my eyes off her. A smile drew on her face with traces of shock. The shock was also obvious to them and some even guessed who I was referring to. "... she's my only sister, a very special sister to me. Let us all welcome, Bria Faith Santiago Adejar!"
Almost all of them were shocked when I introduced Bria as my sister. They all widened their eyes. They all asked their neighbors about what I said. Even Bria was shocked when I mentioned her name. Even my parents' eyes widened and their sweet smiles that I had seen before disappeared. They were totally incredulous.
Bria and I looked at each other again and I noticed her reaction. I smiled at her, even though my chest hurt, I was trying to put on that smile.
Even when I looked at Nanny Yuna and Driver Gong, I noticed how shocked they were. Even Iries and Leighden and all the people here.
“Come on stage,” I softly commanded. Some even looked at Bria.
To be honest, while introducing her, there is a blade slicing my heart. It is hard to introduce her but I did it. I already introduced her that she's my only sister, a half-sister, just like what she said.
I can feel her hesitation to come here on stage.
As she walked, I felt tears well up in my eyes again, so I tilted my head to avoid looking at her until she stepped on the stage.
Unexpectedly, I looked at my parents. I noticed their strange reaction that was new to me. I couldn't even see the smile on their lips that seemed to have hidden.
I don’t know what to say now that she’s here on stage. I feel nervous. I feel like any time...I will cry that I don’t want to happen and can’t happen. I could not cry or show even the slightest bit of sadness. They expected me to feel so happy, so I had to not be sad even though I knew more than sadness I felt almost as if the world was about to reject me.
I don’t know how I’m going to start speaking. The words were on my tongue and I didn’t know what to prioritize or how to begin.
She's already here and they're waiting for the next thing to say. It's here! I have already introduced her and it is no longer in arrears. I shouldn't back down because I introduced her as my sister.
She’s my half-sister and the only thing I’m waiting for is my parents’ side.
"I-i-i am s-so glad," I stammered and I felt even more that the water was about to clot in my eyes and I tried to stop it. I cannot.
She was next to me and I could feel the loneliness and apprehension she felt. I couldn't help but look at her, and every time I looked at her, my chest ached.
I looked back at the audience and avoided looking at Mommy and Daddy. Maybe if I look at them, my chest will hurt even more and I might not be able to stop crying even though I'm here on stage.
“I grew up without thinking that I have a sister...” my mouth said spontaneously. They were all, as in all of them, shocked at what I was saying. I barely looked at Bria then returned my gaze to the audience. "... then ..." I was almost swallowed by saliva and I closed my eyes tightly. "... one unexpectedly night, I found out that we were sisters."
"P-p-pershey," she whispered my name, so I looked at her coldly.
I stopped for a moment because if I continued to speak, tears might well flow from my eyes.
I took a deep breath then continued what I was saying but even before that I looked straight at Mommy and Daddy. I met their gaze. At that moment, the tears welled up in my eyes and even before they dripped, I said, “I didn't expect everything,” I said softly before the tears dripped down my cheeks. This time, I let the tears flow in my eyes, I lastly said, “Thank you,” then I got off the stage and ran away into the mansion and into my room.
I feel so sorry for myself. I feel helpless.