Li Xiang had sampled the local delicacies throughout South America. If there was anything barely passable, Argentinian barbecue would be one—it was more flavorful than Brazilian barbecue. The seafood in Chile was also quite good.
The seafood in Chile was practically dirt cheap. A relatively large king crab cost about 12,000 Pesos (around 85 RMB), while the same thing would cost at least two thousand back home.
The local loco abalone, unique to the region, was only 1,000 Pesos each (around 7 RMB). Its meat was tender and thick, and when eaten raw, it had a crisp and pleasantly springy texture.
There were also brown crabs, green-lipped mussels, and barnacles—all of them delicious.
Perhaps it was because seafood didn’t require overly complex cooking methods, and much of it could be eaten raw.
As for Peru, what surprised Li Xiang was that they actually ate alpacas. Back home, alpacas were treated like precious pets. If one ever appeared in a hotel garden, it would draw a huge crowd of onlookers wanting to take pictures with it.
However, in Peru, alpacas were just ordinary livestock. Not only did they have to work, but they were also a very common dish. Driven by curiosity, Li Xiang gave it a try. The taste was just barely passable, somewhere between beef and lamb, but not as good as either.
Although there were vast numbers of alpacas here, estimated in the millions, Li Xiang wasn’t impressed and didn’t bother taking any.
Then there was another common local meat: skewered and roasted whole meaty rats. The sight of young women holding them and gnawing away...
It was said that Peruvians consumed seventy million "giant rats" every year. This was a national dish of Peru, the most famous delicacy in the Andes Mountains region—roasted guinea pig.
Of course, these weren’t ugly creatures. They were the same kind of Guinea Pigs that, in both Peru and other countries, were considered fluffy, adorable little pets. Many people kept them back home. When Peruvians weren’t hungry, they treated them as pets, too—dressing them in little clothes and hats and taking them out to play. And when they got hungry... well, they roasted them.
Once roasted and stripped of its fluffy fur, it looked just like a rat. A first-time visitor from back home probably wouldn’t dare take a bite.
Although Latin America was a culinary desert for Li Xiang personally, it was a paradise of beautiful women. Hot, sexy women were everywhere. However, Li Xiang "had some at home," and they were all stunning beauties, so he didn’t think much of the women here.
Additionally, Li Xiang collected some coffee from Colombia, rum and cigars from Cuba, and other such things. But Latin America was relatively poor, which made looting no fun. So, Li Xiang turned back and returned to North America.
’Heh, North America is way richer. Not only is there no psychological burden to looting here, but it’s also incredibly satisfying!’
He swept through North America again, taking massive amounts of gold and various medicines. The warehouses of well-known North American pharmaceutical companies were all ransacked.
He also took a wide variety of specialty foods, like Trader Joe’s maple coffee black tea, organic blood orange tea, Manuka honey, cranberry white chocolate, Godiva chocolates, and all sorts of tasty cookies and snacks...
Damn. Public opinion in the United States was once again in an uproar.
"Is this ever going to end? Why do they only pick on us Americans to fleece?"
Some blogger: "The biggest and most mysterious ’zero-dollar shopper’ in history has arrived. Everyone be careful."
"Our laws might allow for ’zero-dollar shopping,’ but the cap is 950 US Dollars. This character? They’ve probably hit that cap a few hundred million times over, haven’t they?"
All of North America’s social media platforms exploded. Six of the top ten trends on Twitter carried the hashtag #HeistOfTheCentury.
On a special breaking news segment on Fox News, the host clutched a surveillance screenshot from the scene. The image showed crates of Pfizer antibiotics, Merck antiviral drugs, AbbVie Company’s medication for rheumatoid arthritis and Crohn’s disease, along with chocolate shelves in a Walmart warehouse, all swept clean, leaving only the price tags.
"It’s like a plague of locusts!" a pharmaceutical executive fumed at a press conference.
Beneath a very popular video, the number of likes broke a million in an hour, and the comment section exploded with countless surreal and sarcastic remarks.
@Free America Handsome Guy: Fam, who gets it! Just last week I was on Twitter supporting the freedom of ’zero-dollar shopping,’ and today my asthma inhaler got swept up. Karma hits faster than an IRS tax notice (crying emoji).
@Texas Cowboys Don’t Cry: If the FBI put the same energy into catching this guy as they do into investigating TikTok, my blood pressure medication would still be aging gracefully on a CVS shelf!
The popular YouTube commentary channel "Truth Grinder" released an in-depth analysis overnight, zooming in frame-by-frame on the surveillance footage: "Look at this reflection. The looter clearly possesses extremely advanced space-folding technology. How else can you explain eighteen tons of gold vanishing from the Fed’s underground vault without a single scratch on the blast-proof door?"
Fifty thousand conspiracy theory comments quickly flooded the video, with speculation ranging from Area 51 alien tech to a false flag operation orchestrated by the deep state.
Some user from India: "This is an envoy of our Shiva God. This is what you get for not believing in our Shiva God." But no one paid him any attention.
The wildest part was on the r/WallStreetBets subreddit. At three in the morning, an anonymous user posted real-time data from the Chicago Futures Exchange: "Has anyone noticed? Godiva cocoa futures shot up 300% in half an hour. I’d advise shorting Pfizer while going long on honey stocks. Don’t ask for the source—I just crawled out of the air duct of a looted pharma warehouse."
Li Xiang hadn’t expected this either. He had merely plundered some supplies from North America, yet he had caused turmoil on Wall Street, forcing financial titans to adjust their strategies and triggering violent fluctuations in global financial markets.
Those who made money cheered, while those who lost money cursed. He had single-handedly stirred up a storm in the global financial markets.
The White House spokesperson was pressed three times at a press conference, finally tossing out a curt, "A special investigative procedure has been launched," before making a hasty exit.
But what truly sent the entire internet into a frenzy was a strange sight captured by a New York Post reporter: a homeless man in downtown Manhattan was holding up a cardboard sign with "PROFESSIONAL PROXY SHOPPER—Accepting small-scale ’zero-dollar shopping’ jobs (limit below $950)" written on it with a marker. The caption read, "The industry’s niche market is undergoing a structural adjustment."
When TMZ released a single dropped overnight by a certain rapper titled "950 Sorrows," the entire public sphere completely lost its mind.
The lyrics in the chorus, "The IRS takes thirty percent, the robber takes seventy, who’s the real parasite on the nation?" accompanied by a tap-dance challenge that went viral on TikTok, pushed the whole absurd drama to a new climax.
’Looting in North America is satisfying, all right, but it’s just too easy to attract global attention.’ He had caused quite a stir in Latin America as well, but in comparison, that had barely made a ripple.
Originally, Li Xiang’s itinerary was to go from South America to New Zealand and Australia, or cross the Atlantic Ocean to Africa and then Europe. But now he had doubled back to North America, so he passed through Alaska, the Bering Strait, and Siberia, and returned to his home country once again.
It was a shorter route from here. He hadn’t been home in many days, and if he didn’t go back soon, his grandmother would worry.
When he got home, his grandmother was busy in the vegetable garden.
The few chili pepper plants Li Xiang had planted last spring had already grown to over two meters tall. Their small white flowers bloomed like a sky full of stars, their branches and leaves lush and forming a canopy.
The plum blossoms had long since withered, giving way to small green plums. Meanwhile, the Thunderstruck Wood peach tree, which he had transplanted the winter he first returned home, was in full bloom. Its blossoms were lush and brilliant. He estimated it would bear a lot of peaches this year.