He hadn’t felt that dizzy while he was drinking. But after the banquet, as they were saying their goodbyes, a blast of cold wind hit him squarely in the face by the car. That’s when his nerves really started to go numb.
He sat in the back of the car.
The warm air from the vents WHIRRED against his face. Chen Yuan felt his body sinking into the seat. When he opened his eyes, everything was a blur; the lights outside spun in dizzying circles. Closing them was even worse. It felt like he was on a pirate ship, swaying back and forth, on and on without end.
So he just sat there in a daze, squinting hard. His loose jacket felt like a polar bear’s pelt, cocooning him completely. His sense of the outside world grew fuzzy, the only clear sensation a sharp throbbing in his temples.
"If you’re not feeling well, just try to sleep. We’ll be there by the time you wake up."
"I feel awful..."
"Well, there’s nothing to be done about it. Who told you to drink everything they put in front of you? It’s a little late to be complaining now." As she spoke, Jiangg Ning turned to the driver. "Could you drive a bit slower, please? Just in case he gets sick."
"Of course." The driver quickly nodded.
"But I have to admit, being this drunk feels... strangely happy. I’ve never felt this way before. Does that mean I had way too much?"
Chen Yuan sat up straighter, propping up his chin and staring at the seatback pocket in front of him, his eyes unfocused.
Thankfully, Jiangg Ning was close enough to make out his words; otherwise, his mumbling would have been completely unintelligible.
"That depends on your tolerance for alcohol."
"I usually just drink beer with my friends. The first time I drank was in middle school. Back then, I couldn’t understand why adults drank alcohol. It’s so bitter... and it smells awful. I had to pinch my nose just to get it down. And don’t even get me started on red or white wine—so dry and harsh. I still don’t think it tastes good, hiccup!" Chen Yuan let out another boozy hiccup. "Give me my cup. I need more water."
Chen Yuan was clearly not in his right mind, talking more to himself than anyone else. He’d ruffled his own bangs earlier, and even in the dim light of the back seat, the deep flush spreading across his fine features was visible.
It was a face with delicate features and captivating contours that made it hard to look away.
It had been a while since Jiangg Ning had really looked at him like this. Seizing the opportunity while he was distracted, unafraid of being caught, she studied him intently for a moment.
"So, what’s wrong with just being a student? Did you really have to wade into these muddy waters? I’m discovering you have a tendency to be arrogant. That’s a flaw I hadn’t noticed before."
"Because I have my own plan... my own ideas... hiccup. You wouldn’t understand."
"You’re right, I don’t understand. So, are you happy now? Wasting your precious college years... You’ll regret jumping into the real world this early. There are plenty of things in life that are just as hard to stomach as being forced to drink at a banquet, but the beauty of youth is fleeting."
"I want to grow up," Chen Yuan suddenly turned to face her, propping his hot cheeks in his hands as he looked at Jiangg Ning. "Faster. Even faster. I always feel like I’m running out of time... I’m afraid that if I grow up too slowly, you’ll drift further and further away from me..."
Jiangg Ning froze, staring at him without a word.
"See? When I stand beside you now, it doesn’t look so out of place. People won’t mistake us for being from two different worlds. I know it might sound petty, but it brings me this subtle sense of joy. Real joy," he continued. "I hope I’ll be worthy of you soon."
"You don’t have to do that..." Jiangg Ning averted her gaze, affecting a casual tone.
"Change is something everyone who wants to love has to do. People always say that loving yourself is the greatest virtue, but when two people are together, isn’t the point to smooth out each other’s rough edges? To change yourself until you fit together like you were made for each other? That’s the responsibility that comes with taking on a role. We should all have a sense of the role we play," Chen Yuan said softly.
"But that change can’t be endless, can it? If you change until the very end, what happens to your principles? Do you lose those too?" Jiangg Ning couldn’t help but argue.
"We all change into people we wouldn’t recognize. I used to dream of spending my whole life in a white lab coat, doing research. I had that dream. But it wasn’t necessarily because I truly loved science. It was more about wanting to get away from this messy society. Isn’t that a form of escape, too?"
"No one’s stopping you. You could still go do that now."
"It’s too late. I have a new goal now. Instead of running away, I have something I want to protect... To be a real man~ gotta stand up strong~ a passionate man’s heart burns hotter than the suuun~"
Chen Yuan suddenly broke into song, filled with a strange, passionate energy. He tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and savored the wonderful dizziness, his singing a million miles off-key.
"Are you alright?" Jiangg Ning laughed in exasperation, frowning at him. "Stop singing."
She clenched her fist and thumped Chen Yuan on the shoulder. Her fierce expression held not a trace of gentleness.
"Hey, don’t hit so hard! That fucking hurts..."
"Then behave yourself, or else I’ll—"
"Okay, okay, I will."
The way Jiangg Ning glared at him made Chen Yuan shut his mouth instantly. He finally settled down a bit, closing his eyes to take a nap. But the way he was lying on the seat was a little strange; he was slumped at an angle, one arm dangling to the side, and he kept sliding further in one direction. After just a few seconds, he was leaning right against her.
The corner of her mouth twitched. She knew, of course, that Chen Yuan was doing it on purpose, and she raised a hand to push him awake.
But just as her hand was poised in mid-air, about to push, Chen Yuan suddenly buried his face in the crook of her arm, nuzzling against it lazily.