Thank you for waiting . My writing skills may have gotten a little rusty during this hiatus but I believe it should be fine . Have a great time reading .
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( Lappland pov )
Lappland : "What should I do with you .... huh ? "
I wondered with some hesitation . On the one hand I don't want to waste time on him and on the other hand I don't want to let him go .
' Kill him ? No ....... Why should I make problems for myself and Blake because of such a little shit '.
I thought again , at first tempted by the quick solution but quickly gave up the idea . I didn't want to take it that far . Not because I can't . I can now easily wring his neck for what he did to me . However, the problems that could have resulted from this were just not worth it .
Besides , doing it in the middle of the day on a street where someone might come out from around the corner or where there might be hidden cameras , Is stupid . And I may be crazy and sometimes maybe stupid , but I am certainly not that stupid .
I've caused enough trouble . I don't want to complicate Blake's plans . It's not worth it , after all I have to start all over again with a clean slate . Killing that shithead in the middle of the street in broad daylight will fuck everything up . But I really feel that somewhere inside of me there is a slippery impulse to do it .
Other me : " don't act like you haven't fucked up already . You have already massacred two groups of hunters . Killing this punk should no longer make a difference , right ? "
Said a whisper in my head . The voice had something in it that tempted me , at the same time I also felt her mockery . And while hering this I also suddenly felt a touch on my shoulders . The non-existent breath on my cheek seemed to irritate my senses and in the corner of my field of vision I saw a blurry face with blue silver eyes staring at me .
' No , there is a big difference . One less body to worry about it . And as for those hunters it was self defense . '
I thought clenching my teeth in exasperation . I knew I shouldn't react because trying to argue wouldn't work out , or rather it will fulfill the purpose of the voice . But still I couldn't clench my teeth enough as not to speak .
Other me : " It's all your fault silly . You killed them and you didn't have to. In the end you failed to control yourself and let yourself be carried away by your emotions and instincts . "
Says the voice sarcastically making my blood pressure go up again . But this time with composure I closed my eyes and took a breath .
Other me : " But it's not that I blame you . I would even say that I am proud of you . In the end the wisest decision is always to eliminate the threat . By leaving them alive you risk that it will bite you in the ass in the future . "
Said the voice and I felt comforting pats on my shoulders . Such treatment and obvious toying with me pissed me off beyond all my limits .
Lappland : " Don't act like you didn't get me into this state ! "
I shouted in anger twisting my body to look behind me . But there was no one there anymore . Which was expected .
Lappland: " Always the same , you lead me to the edge and then push me into the abyss . And so for years , I am fed up give me a break ........ "
I shouted in a breaking voice being somewhere between crying from flustration and nervous breakdown . It's like fighting windmills . Endless solicitation and whispers of criticism for something I didn't do . No matter what I wouldn't do or what I wouldn't want to do , there will always be a voice criticizing or ridiculing me . It's a perpetual sense of looking and being watched . Even being used to , it still pushes me to the limits .
Other me : " But it's not my fault that it's so tempting. Seeing someone on the edge , one always has an inner thought to push them . You are always standing on that edge , and it is in my interest to push you off it . And don't get me wrong , it's for your own good . '
Replied the voice in a gentle tone as if there was nothing wrong with what was said .
Other me : " Killing is a primal isntsykt . Attack is the best way to protect . And the fact that so many beings including humans and faunus have preserved it for so long means so much that it is valid and useful even now . Personally I don't think I'm doing anything wrong . I'm protecting you and trying to make sure you don't suffer . "
Other me : " When I push you , you no longer think about anything . You don't suffer , you just attack when you are threatened . You act by instinct and you are not haunted by consciousness .
Said the voice with pride , whether it was right or wrong , I did not want to admit or discuss. For that I had one answer already in my head .
' I WILL kill you ' .
That was my only answer I swore in my mind . Even though I knew it meant nothing . I couldn't do anything about it . After all, I can't kill something that doesn't exist . I can't kill something that is an inseparable part of me. And yet I thought about it , if only to imagine it .
Other me : " Good luck with this task haHahAha hAha . We know very well that you have no shit on me . But I feel sorry for you so let me give you a suggestion . "
Other me : " If you want to silence me so much , then tie a rope around your neck or jump off from a bridge . Only by doing this you can succeed in getting rid of me . "
Said the voice , in a tone full of sarccasm and resentment . However , a note of amusement and sadism could not be hidden in it . It was clearly evident that I was being toyed with . They were playing on my emotions , however I managed to restore some rationality to my thinking . Then I recalled the boy in my grip . I quickly let go of his neck and in the same motion grabbed the collar of his shirt by which I pulled him and threw him down the stairs to the sidewalk in front of me.
It was not a big fall because the staircase had only five steps . Nevertheless I threw him out like garbage . After which I wanted to put the cigarette back in my mouth. Unfortunately it was practically all burnt out and my action of waving it did not help . There was nothing left of it , and so I could only throw the cigarette butt into a small puddle near the stairs .
' I don't have time for that . And this conversation has completely deprived me of any desire to do anything '.
I thought as I looked at the boy lying on the sidewalk which body structure made me realize why he seemed so light in my hands . He was as skinny as an anorexic and the stained white sleeveless top only emphasized it .
The only reason why his black cargo pants , topped with silver chains seemed to hold his ass was because of the belt , in which he made extra holes to tighten the pants on his hips . He did not look healthy , most likely I could have broken something in him by my treatment but I did not care too much .
' After all, this is the best case scenario for him . I could knock out his teeth or intentionally break his bones . But in that case I would choose the ones that hurt the most or make life difficult . Like arms or legs . '
I thought with a sigh, then got ready to get up . I still had a lot of things to do and it was already past noon , in a moment I would no longer have time to do anything . However, in a moment when I raised my eyes from over the knocked down guy I noticed that we were not alone . Two other people were standing in front of me . Being surprised I didn't seem to show it but I certainly felt my ear twitch .
' I drifted off to the point of not seeing them . They didn't move even though I seemed to have spent a good while talking to myself . That, however, is probably because my sense of time seems warped at times like this . '
I thought aware that sometimes it happens . When I drift off and lose touch with reality only to come back and discover that either not a second has passed or that hours have passed . Even though it seems dangerous , it has never happened to me to in danger because of this moments . And thos whether by instinct or by the timing of such moments . In this case, it seems that not as much time has passed as it might seem.
However, not caring, I looked at the two people in front of me. A bald ,fat boy and a frail girl with black hair styled in a hairstyle typical of Emo . They both seemed to be frozen in place, looking at me like some kind of savage beast .
My ears heard the rumble of their hearts . My nose could smell their sweat . The girl was literally shaking with fear and the fat boy , under all that fat was tensing his muscles as if ready to attack despite his fear .
' Truly fascinating '
I thought without much wavering in emotion . And as I stared into the fat boy's eyes , reading his fear , confusion and hesitation . The girl at the time snapped out of her trance or at least overcame her paralys state and moved to help her friend on the floor .
I did not prevent her from doing so . I just continued to stare at the fat boy , grinning at him with my white teeth . I felt satisfaction in myself at his reaction and wanted to bully him for a little more . Therefore , with mockery in my eyes I looked at him . Waiting to see what he would do . Will he just stand there with his fists clenched or will he really use them and give me a reason to unleash an educational beating on him .
Didn't I just state that I don't have time ? So why are we now initiating a fight and provoking ? Anyone who knows me knows that changing plans is in my nature . I am easily distracted when the matter does don't involve anything serious , not concern Blake or when I am bored . So , at this moment I am interested in these two , so I will deal with them . I am Lappland , what do you expect me to do ? Follow the shopping plan ?
Lappland: " What are you looking at bald boy ? Do you like what you see ? Do you want this body ? Do you want to touch me ? Come on ... Give me an answer !!!!!"
I asked , standing up from the stairs to walk closer to him . As I spoke I smiled and spread my arms to show myself completely . But he , instead of standing somehow confidently as he did moments ago . He now lowered his gaze unable to look me in the eyes to face all my feelings and the madness within them . So like a frightened cat he retreated with every step I took towards him .
He was like a balloon of confidence that had been punctured . Like a little squirrel facing the wolf . He completely lost his balls. And seeing this I felt satisfaction and amusement . It practically fixed my grumpy mood . Or whatever emotional swings I just had . However, I have not yet finished with him nor with the girl . After all, as colleagues of this sinner they are responsible for not stopping him .
Pulling out a new special cigarette to smoke . Because why not destroy your lungs at the cost of possible relaxation . I lit it after which I hid the lighter . And once again I looked at the three " colleagues " . Placing foot behind foot I made an elegant bow with one hand placed on my heart and the other hand spread outward .
During this I did not lower my head , but stared at them giving them a wolfish smile from between which oozed smoke from my cigarette
Lappland: " Let's talk ..... "