~It’s hard to enjoy five-star food when your stomach’s in knots.~
And listening to Mia and Erica fawn over every word that came out of Sienna’s mouth just made me even more nauseated.
“Just think, this year’s Yule Ball will be your first as Aiden’s mate. You’ll get to enter down the grand staircase together!” Erica sighed.
“Your life is so damn romantic, Sienna,” Mia gushed. “I can’t handle it.”
~Neither can I.~
It’s not that I wasn’t happy for Sienna. Of course I was. She was my best friend.
But being completely overshadowed by her while she remained oblivious to her special treatment was frustrating as hell.
I’d accomplished a lot in the past year too, but my accomplishments were always going to be second place or runner-up to Sienna’s. Even my husband, the fucking ~beta~.
And she didn’t even appreciate the attention. No, she had her eyes glued to her phone all night, texting someone. Probably Aiden. Couldn’t even have one night away from him.
Sienna stood up abruptly, startling me, and for a moment I thought maybe she could read my mind, and turned red.
“I’m so sorry to cut out early, girls, but I have a meeting with a client,” Sienna said apologetically.
“You take meetings at this hour?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Go, be brilliant, do your thing,” Erica said, blowing kisses. “Proud of you, girl.”
~I might actually vomit.~
***
Slightly tipsy, I threw my purse on the floor as I stumbled into the house. Josh was watching ~Pack News~ and didn’t even look up as I came in.
~Typical.~
I bet when Sienna arrived home, Aiden littered the driveway with roses and scooped her into his arms at the entryway and kissed her, like in a fucking fairytale.
It was completely irrational for me to be mad at Josh, but right now I wasn’t thinking rationally.
“Josh, are you just gonna leave me standing here? Pick me up, dammit!”
He turned around, looking confused. “Wait…what?”
“Why don’t you do something. Fucking do ~something~. You’re always just letting yourself get sidelined!”
“Oh, you’re just drunk,” he said, turning back around and ignoring me.
I marched in front of the TV and got in Josh’s face. “Are you really content with always being second best? Letting yourself get walked all over while someone else replaces you?”
“I get it now,” Josh replied smugly. “This isn’t even about me. This is about you and Sienna.”
“No, it’s not. It’s about you being a fucking man and telling Aiden that you don’t want Sienna taking all your responsibilities now that she’s on the council!”
Josh shot out of his seat, his face red. “You know what, Michelle? You’re a fucking hypocrite. You’re barking at me about confronting Aiden when you won’t even talk to Sienna about feeling outshined.”
He was right. We were both feeling eclipsed, and neither of us was doing anything about it.
Suddenly, the fire and the rage that I was feeling toward Josh started moving down my body. I grabbed my sex as I felt a burning desire for my mate.
He felt it too—I could already see that he was getting aroused through his pants.
The haze couldn’t have come at a better time.
I wanted Josh to pick me up? Well he fucking picked me up, sweeping me off my feet and shoving me up against the wall.
Lifting my skirt over my hips, he pressed his massive dick between my legs and grinned.
“No underwear tonight?”
“Shut up and put it inside me,” I growled, digging my fingernails into his back.
My man might’ve been a beta, but he fucked like an alpha.
Ever since Aiden had taken care of my haze, I’d felt much more confident about attempting another session. And when Konstantin texted me that he was available tonight, I’d jumped at the opportunity.
“So,” he said, leaning forward in his velvet armchair. “Are you ready to try again?”
“Yes, I think so.”
I took a deep breath. “I ~know~ so.”
“Whatever happens, don’t fight it. Do you understand? You have to give in. It’s the only way to find what your mind has hidden away.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Give me your hands.”
***
A lush garden filled with flowery arches and gushing fountains led the way to a gorgeous brick manor. I lifted my dress as I walked toward it, trying to keep the hem from getting dirty.
Wait, what was I doing? The dress wasn’t real. ~This~ wasn’t real.
As I picked up my pace, my breasts practically spilled out of the tight bodice that was boosting them up.
I reminded myself that this was my own mind’s doing—everything in my head was designed by me. Last time it was a creepy castle, this time, a charming countryside estate in the Victorian period.
I had to say, despite the impractical neckline, I preferred this one.
When I reached the manor, I found Aiden inside, dressed in a dashing suit and tie.
~Leave it to my mind to somehow make him even more handsome.~
“Where to?” I asked, surveying the massive mansion.
“This is ~your~ brain,” he replied. “Follow your instincts. Where are they telling you to go?”
Without thinking, I started walking up the grand staircase, with Aiden following behind. I passed by dozens of doors, but I knew that none of them were the one that I was looking for.
Twisting hallways.
More narrow staircases.
Wallpaper that was constantly changing.
This place was more maze than mansion, and I was starting to feel as though I was missing something—until I found myself abruptly stopping in the middle of a hallway.
“I think it’s here, but I don’t know why,” I said, confused. “There aren’t even any doors in this corridor.”
I instinctively looked up at the ceiling. An attic door was hanging slightly ajar.
“It’s too high to reach. Give me a boost.”
I really hoped that my mind had been courteous enough to give me underwear this time.
As Aiden lifted me, I started to feel a familiar tingling.
The goddamn haze again, my body’s defense mechanism. At least that meant we must be close.
“It’s happening again,” I whimpered.
Aiden’s face was dangerously close to my ass.
“Don’t fight it. Give in to whatever your mind tells you to do when we enter that room.”
I managed to pull the ladder down and ascend it, trying not to think about how extremely hazed I was feeling.
But when I saw what was inside the attic, my jaw dropped.
“What the fuck?”
Old-school wooden BDSM contraptions littered the room, along with plenty of whips and chains.
I’d brought us to a damned sex dungeon—except it was in the attic.
The haze spread through my body like wildfire. I wanted to rip my clothes off, and when I looked at Aiden, it seemed like the same thought was going through his head too.
I approached one of the wooden contraptions—but not like I was in control of my own body, like I was sleepwalking—and fastened the straps around my wrists.
“What are you doing?” Aiden asked, smirking.
“I honestly don’t know,” I said, trying not to panic.
Another wave of the haze hit me, and all I wanted was to feel something.
To feel anything.
“Grab a whip,” I commanded.
Aiden unlaced my dress until my back was exposed. My haze, or rather my subconscious, wanted this so badly it hurt.
His fingers traced my bare back, lust in his touch, fingernails digging into my skin. I was aching for more than just a light scratch.
I needed to feel something real.
“The whip,” I said again.
Aiden surveyed the assortment of whips on the wall and settled on a cat-o’-nine-tails. He teased my body with it before giving my ass a light lash.
That wasn’t good enough.
“Harder,” I demanded.
“With pleasure,” he replied, a devilish glint in his eye.
He brought the whip down against my flesh again. It stung this time, but my body wanted more.
“HARDER,” I yelled.
As he brought the whip down again, I winced.
~What am I doing?~
This didn’t feel right. This wasn’t me. And it didn’t feel like Aiden either.
My desires changed suddenly. I didn’t want this anymore.
“Aiden, stop!” I said, struggling against the bindings I’d placed myself in.
But he didn’t stop.
He lashed me with the whip again.
And again.
“Aiden,” I screamed. “Listen to me!”
“No. We can’t stop,” I heard him say.
~WHACK~
“We have to keep going…”
~WHACK~
“We need to know.”
~WHACK~
I craned my neck around to look at him, and I barely recognized him. He looked intense and determined, but his lips were curled into an unsettling smile.
He was ~enjoying~ this.
“Don’t fight it,” he said, his eyes gleaming wickedly.
I felt something howl inside me—my inner wolf. The howls got louder and louder until they drowned everything else out.
The room started to spin.
Then everything disappeared.
***
“What the fuck was that?” I snarled as soon as I snapped back to reality.
I stood up and backed away from Konstantin.
“Sienna, calm down. I understand you’re upset, but it wasn’t real. It was all in your head, and only you have control in there,” he said, remaining seated and giving me my space.
“It didn’t feel that way to me.”
“This was just your mind’s way of asking you to submit. If we’re going to find out what’s in the deepest recesses of your subconscious, you’ll have to give in to whatever you’re asking yourself to do—even if it seems insane.”
I shook my head, not wanting to hear any of this. “He…he transformed into something…vile,” I said, tears welling up in my eyes. “I didn’t even recognize him.”
“Your mate? That was just your imagination.”
“I’m done.”
“Sienna, we’re so close I can feel it.”
“No, I can’t do it.”
Konstantin had warned me this would be intense, but what I’d just experienced was next level. I wasn’t built for this.
I grabbed my coat and raced for the elevator, smashing the Down button till the door opened.
“Sienna, don’t run from this,” Konstantin called after me.
But as the elevator closed, I vowed this would be the last time I ever set foot in therapy.