Alanis
I didn’t know I was starved until I got a taste of him again. I know it is a stretch to whine and complain of no sex for just one week but it feels like an eternity since he was inside me. Right now, I am not looking at him, because this is the only way we can do this without disturbing my stomach and I am okay with it but as he pounces into me, I grab his hands because I want to feel him, I want to know that this is affecting him as much as it is affecting me.
His hands are wonderful, strong, soft, and warm. He is holding me and I can feel his chest on my back, his heart beating in rhythm with mine.
I feel him and I let him feel me, I want him to know that I am here with him, I am all for him.
"Are you okay?’’ he asks me for like the tenth time in less than ten minutes. I know he is trying to stay aware of everything but I need him to just completely let go. I want the Beau that wouldn’t even remember anything but the fact that he is inside me. I don’t want daddy Beau. Worrywart Beau.
"Yeah, go faster,’’ I urge him as he pushes into me even harder and I feel him all the way inside me. The spot that Beau only knows about. My hands clutch him as I enjoy this, I hold unto him for dear life as he starts to thrust into me, suddenly getting more and more into it. For the first time all week, I feel pleasure, I don’t feel any sort of pain and it makes me feel so good.
"Yeah Beau, don’t stop," I beg him as he goes faster and faster. I start to see black, and I feel my heart beating out of my chest. This even feels a lot more intense than usual. I don’t know what it is, maybe the fact that I haven’t done this in a week has made it even more intense but it also feels like I have never done this before. I am not in control of my body right now. I am in a beautiful state that I don’t want to get out of.
"Do you like that,’’ he grabs me by my waist as he slowly pushes into me again. His voice is a mix of pleasure and concern. I nod because he doesn’t even need an answer right now, he knows that this is amazing from the way I am responding to him. My hands let go of his and I clutch unto the sheets for fear of hurting him with my scratches.
I scream and moan, I cry and welp for me and he gives me everything I ask for. He gives me his body and his soul and I feel like I am the luckiest man in the world. I feel it inside me, I feel his emotions, I feel his concerns, I feel him. I feel him as I see the stars. I scream his name out as he pushes into me again this time a lot more than I could hold out on to.
He pulls me up and I feel my back against his chest, I feel his arms around me and I feel safe.
"Lanis," he whispers my name into my ears just as I feel him explode into me, with one last thrust I let go of everything. My eyes roll back, my mouth opens and I feel a tear run down my cheek. I feel so much better, I feel like a whole new person. I feel like this is just the beginning. I feel like Beau is the man of my dreams.
"This is the first time all week that I haven’t felt pain,’’ I breathe out heavily, as I try to catch my breath. His arms are around me, to the point where they are resting on my stomach and it feels so good.
I love this, I love him, I love us being together.
"I know," he kisses my cheek and I feel his lips smile against my skin.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this, I don’t know how I ended up with this wonderful man. I don’t know how I ended up with a man who is not only perfect for me but who is also perfect for himself.
I don’t know how I ended up with a man who loves me, who is not ashamed to be with me, and who makes me want to be a better person every day. I don’t know how I ended up with a man who gives me everything I ask for and more.
I don’t know how I ended up with a man who is my Beau, the love of my life, and the man I am willing to have babies with, spend the rest of my life with, and live the rest of my life with.
I don’t know how I ended up here but I am glad that I did. I am glad that he wanted me and I am glad that he chose me. I am glad that there is no one else in this world who can make me feel like this.
"I love you," I say and he kisses the top of my head.
"You are my world,’’ he says and I smile.
"I am really hungry," I say and he laughs.
"We should get something to eat, I don’t want you and my babies starving," he rubs my tummy and it kicks with a bounce "They are moving around,’’ I tell him even though he looks so excited right now.
He sits up on the bed with a wide smile on his face
"I can’t wait to see what they look like," he says and I know that he is already planning out the whole thing. He is already thinking about names and what our life will be like with the twins. I know that he is already thinking about the future.
He is the one person that has made this easy.
"Me too," I tell him honestly.
I can’t wait either.