"Whatever."
Vivienne snorted, bringing her focus back to Lucian.
Lucian stared at the Woundglass in her hand. For a moment, his mind went blank.
He knew what was coming and it... terrified him.
Vivienne noticed that. She noticed his fingers curl as he stared at the Woundglass with a lost look.
Right now, however, she did not comment on it.
Lucian needed it.
She observed him for a little longer. She liked how, even when he was scared, he did not take a step back. In fact, she could see him fighting against himself, preparing himself for what was about to come and overcoming his fear.
That made her nod in satisfaction.
This one truly was one of a kind.
"Don’t waste your time trying to resist or defeat the illusion."
Vivienne finally spoke as she walked towards him. Lucian’s eyes moved to her.
"Fall for it."
She advised.
"The faster the lines between reality and illusion blur, the more efficiently you will be able to train."
Lucian did not say anything, he only listened.
"When you start thinking everything inside—the happiness you are feeling, your parents—is all real, that is when you will feel despair."
Lucian nodded.
Not resist.
He noted it in his head.
He could see how that would make it more efficient.
Vivienne basically wanted him to ’feel the high’ quickly so he could later fall even harder. She wanted him to believe everything inside was real, so when it was taken away, he would feel actual despair.
The despair of being helpless, of being weak, of not being able to save them.
She wanted him to feel it all.
This was not training to make him immune to the illusion, this was...
A study.
A study where the subject was himself.
A study where he was supposed to study himself as he broke down.
Lucian nodded again.
And just as Lucian thought—
"And this time, I do not only want you to feel the despair, I want you to understand it."
What Lucian did not know, however, was—
"How am I supposed to... understand it?"
"Focus on what happens inside you."
Vivienne pointed at his chest.
"The illusion is false, yes. However, the pain, the helplessness, the despair you feel is not.
That despair is real enough to awaken your Form.
Focus on that because that is the only thing that matters."
Vivienne then looked into Lucian’s eyes and—
"When the despair comes, observe it."
She started explaining.
"Remember the moment anger stops helping, the moment fear becomes useless, the moment your mind stops searching for a way out.
Remember the exact instant when all you feel is overwhelming despair and that voice answers."
The Training Hall fell completely silent and after a short pause, Vivienne continued.
"That is the door you need to find."
Lucian looked at her and nodded.
"Your Form answered when you fell so deep that you had nowhere else to go, so fall again. However, this time, pay attention to that fall.
Learn its shape, its taste, its weight.
Learn how your energy moves when despair begins.
Learn where your thoughts break.
And learn what remains after they break."
"...and I am supposed to do all that while I watch my parents die?"
Lucian blinked.
Evelyn, who was hearing all that, was horrified.
Just... what sort of training was that...?
Who in their right mind would come up with training like that!?
Of course, she had no idea what was coming next.
"I do not expect you to do it on the first try."
Vivienne shook her head.
Lucian narrowed his eyes and Vivienne continued—
"This cannot happen all at once.
Your mind would be in too poor a state for you to consciously understand it.
What you need here is quantity.
A brute-force approach of doing something again and again until your very body learns it."
Evelyn did not like the tone of that, not one bit.
But Vivienne did not care.
She continued.
"So, you will enter the illusion again and again. You will feel the same despair repeatedly, and the more times you feel it, the better you will remember it.
And you will continue doing this until you no longer need the Woundglass to recall that despair—
You will be able to do it with your memory alone."
Evelyn placed both her hands in front of her mouth in disbelief.
This was... simply inhumane.
Calling despair through memory...?
Just... what sort of consequences would that have...?
Lucian’s mind would break!
How could this be considered a form of training!?
This was pure torture!
Madness!
It was utter madness!
And the worst part?
"And if I learn how to call that despair through memory—"
"Your Form will answer on your command."
Vivienne nodded and Lucian’s eyes shone with... hunger.
Yes, he was actually looking forward to it!
And that terrified Evelyn even more.
Just... how far was he willing to go...?
She couldn’t comprehend it.
She could only stare at the madman and madwoman in front of her as they continued their conversation.
"Are you up for it?"
Vivienne asked and Lucian only grinned.
"Are you truly asking me that, Teacher? After all this?"
"You did take a step back today."
Vivienne taunted.
"That was only because I was overwhelmed by how beautiful you looked today."
"Is that so?"
"Of course, I was worried that I might attack you."
"I never stopped you from attacking me."
"Oh...?"
The look in Lucian’s eyes changed.
Vivienne noticed that change and just shrugged.
"Yes, attack me whenever you desire. I do not mind breaking a few bones. It has been a while since I did it."
Lucian stared at her with a deadpan look on his face.
Then, he just snorted.
"Just you wait, Teacher. You won’t be able to say these things once I am stronger than you."
Vivienne only grinned.
"The day you surpass me, you may do as you please with me."
The instant Lucian heard those words, he froze.
Then, the violet in his eyes shone much more dangerously than before and—
"Do not go back on those words, Teacher."
"I never go back on my words.
Now focus on your training."
"Yes."
Lucian nodded.
Then, he took one last deep breath and stared at the Woundglass.
"I am ready."
Vivienne looked at him, then she nodded and activated the Woundglass again.