While Cass was unable to speak, Gideon took pity on Cass and began to explain what had happened in Lucian’s absence. Cass barely heard him speaking, his body sobbing in Lucian’s lap as the three of them stroked and touched him.
He wasn’t used to them touching him like this. There wasn’t a hint of anything sexual behind it. Just comfort and affection. It warmed Cass’ heart, his throat closing harder and only made him cry more. He felt guilty, and annoyed, and such a deep sorrow it was hard to put into words.
He hadn’t really allowed himself to grieve everything that he would lose when he merged souls, and if given the choice, he would do it again. However, he’d wanted Lucian there when he’d had to make the choice, and now that he was by Cass’ side?
He was barely able to keep himself together.
He knew that Lucian’s arms and chest would be wide and warm, his pecs the perfect place to cry into. He just hated also knowing that he was completely right and that Lucian didn’t mind at all. He was acting as if he expected this kind of breakdown, and that only seemed to make Cass feel worse. He didn’t want the man to think him so fragile that he couldn’t take care of himself.
He’d faced several demons while he was gone, the King, helped Taniora, killed some people, saved Gideon more than once, and done so many other things without him at his side. Edgar had gotten him through it. Gideon had gotten him through it. Fuck, it was so selfish of him to still have wanted Lucian there too.
Cass only registered that they had gotten through most of the talk when Edgar squeezed Cass’ knee, trying to draw his attention. Cass blinked, his big, red eyes still overflowing with tears as he raised his head up and caught the gaze of both Lucian and Edgar. Gideon was behind him, his hands massaging Cass’ shoulders.
He liked the feeling. It was nice, relaxing, but still made Cass feel like a damn monster for not feeling grateful for what they had done.
"Hey, Bunny. Lucian was just asking about the nursery tree sprout that we were given. Is it still in the bag?" Edgar asked softly and Cass exhaled slowly, nodding. He tried to control his emotions, still his tears, but he couldn’t. Lucian’s expression was soft as he stared down at the crying man.
"It’s very sweet that they gave you a part of them to help you get this tree started." Lucian said and Cass nodded, unable to really see his face through his tears.
"Y-Yeah." Cass agreed, his lips trembling. "D-Did Gideon tell you about the attack?" Cass asked and Lucian slid his gaze to Gideon.
"On your Aunt? Yes, he did. I have a strong desire to pay her a visit, even if she did turn down Byron helping out. I do need to go and greet her properly as your living relatives." Cass gave a low, wobbly exhale.
"You don’t have to." God, his voice sounded terrible. He couldn’t stop the tears either. Edgar’s soft, gentle fingers wiped at Cass’ tears and Cass watched as Edgar raised his thumb to his lips to lick at his tears. The scrunched up, disgusted face Cass gave him made him laugh. "Gross." Cass told him and Edgar laughed.
"Nothing you produce is gross." Edgar told him warmly. His gaze grew a brighter blue as he scanned Cass’ whole body before he shook his head, smiling. "I will say, it’s a bit annoying that as you’ve grown into your demonic blood, you’ve gotten prettier before, during and after when you cry. It’s frustrating, and endearing at the same time." Edgar added with a small grin. The laughter that left Cass’ lips felt a little hysterical.
"That’s not true. I’m a terrible crier." Cass argued and received a disbelieving sound from both Gideon and Lucian. Gideon’s hands left Cass’ shoulders so that he could come around and look Cass in the face. He frowned before nodding.
"I agree with Eddie. You’re like a lost, injured lamb. Begging for help. All sweet with big, round, watery red eyes. Your cheeks are a little pink and your lips are alluring. The freckles across your face only add to your appeal. Every day you grow more enchanting." Lucian glanced at Gideon, seeming a little annoyed.
"What he said." Lucian muttered and that pulled a laugh from Cass.
He bent, heaving as he laughed, his hands curling against Lucian’s chest. That was when he felt the wet spot he’d made and winced. With a trembling finger, he waved his hand, a light breeze surrounding them as Cass used his magic like a second skin to dry off Lucian’s clothes.
Lucian looked surprised, but very, very pleased.
’That’s my man." Lucian murmured and Cass blushed. Gideon leaned in, pressing a warm kiss against his forehead.
"He’s been getting more confident as time goes on. It’s been wonderful to watch him grow. A true delight to see him blossom. He’s also been putting on weight in the proper places. I can’t feel his ribs as sharply under my hands anymore." Gideon commented. Cass flushed.
"That’s not important." Cass mumbled and Lucian chuckled.
"I beg to differ. I think it’s very important, since I plan to have my hands all over you once you’re feeling better." Cass’ stomach dropped, desire spiking almost immediately.
"You’re not biting me again, are you?" Cass winced as soon as the words came out, feeling how Lucian stilled. "That’s not-I didn’t-"
"No." Lucian’s voice was soft, not angry. "I won’t bite you again without your permission." Cass slid his gaze upwards, gulping in air as he did so. Lucian’s eyes were orange, bright, but he wasn’t just looking at the dragon staring down at him. "I want you to want it too, Cass. I know you care for me, and that’s enough for now." Cass gulped, flushing. He dropped his head, focusing on his breathing for a moment.
"It’s not a no." Cass said quietly. "It’s just not...a right now." Cass’ lips twisted as he tried to say the words. "I-I just want us to connect without the weight of the bond looming over us." Cass couldn’t even bring himself to say sex right now. He was a damn romance reader, but the word caught in his throat like a popcorn kernel.
"Ah." Lucian said softly. "I understand. Our little Cass wants to taste before he locks us down, hmm?" Cass’ hands convulsed on his chest.
He was about to snap at him, tell him that wasn’t what he meant, when the sound of skin meeting skin filled his ears, followed by Lucian’s laughter. When Cass raised his head he saw that Edgar had smacked Lucian, the other man grinning widely.
"Don’t degrade him like that, Lucy! Cass is right to want to wait. His body needs a break from magical shit happening to it, and he might not even be done with the changes his demonic blood is making to him. He should have completed all of these changes ages ago, but even then. It took a full year before my body finished changing after I signed my contract." Edgar told him and Lucian’s humour dulled.
"Ah. A fair point. I fear my joke was made in poor taste. Sorry, Cassy Baby. I was just joking. I know you value us more than that. Otherwise you wouldn’t let us into your den." Cass wanted to argue that he wouldn’t make changes to his den either with them in mind, when he felt his face warm further.
"Uh, I have something I want to show you." Cass said, sniffing, and both Edgar and Gideon seemed surprised. Cass was glad that in this bantering, his tears had slowly come to a stop. They weren’t two streams pouring from his eyes and his chest felt oddly lightly. Sometimes, it seemed, it was good to cry in another man’s arms. Cass noted that and tucked it away.
"Something to show me? What is it related to? Your den?" He asked, sounding confused and Cass nodded. He raised his head, sliding his gaze towards the doors.
"We need to go outside and to the spare room. Or, the one closest to my room." Cass told the dragon and that was when the lights went off behind Gideon and Edgar’s eyes.
"Ooooh. You want to show him that." Edgar said, a slight smile playing on his lips. "I think he’ll like it. I was wondering when you were going to introduce it." Edgar said and Lucian’s brows furrowed. Gideon chuckled, going towards the door.
"I’ll lead the way." Gideon told him and Lucian glanced at the trio.
"Is this...a bad thing?" He asked and Cass shook his head as Lucian got to his feet. "Is it...a naughty thing?" He asked quieter and Cass flushed.
"Not traditionally, no." Cass muttered and Edgar laughed.
"Just wait until you see it, Lucian. It’s nothing bad, nor dangerous, nor concerning. I think it’s a sweet thing that Cass has done." Edgar told him. "Very considerate." Cass was once more hoisted into Lucian’s arms without a complaint as the group left Cass’ office, passing by Byron and Sam who were far enough away from the office that they couldn’t hear them properly, but close enough that they could react if anything happened.
"A problem?" He asked and Cass shook his head.
"I’m showing Lucian what I purchased. It’s probably time to replace it." Cass told the helpful man. Sam’s eyes didn’t change as he nodded.
"Of course. I’ll send for the other parts, then, and we’ll get it started." Sam moved to get the other parts that Cass had forgotten about. Of course he would need to grab the bedframe. Sam wasn’t about to let his lord sleep on a mattress on the floor.
The words seemed to confuse Lucian more, until he was led to the room and Gideon flicked on the light. The light was mostly for him as Lucian took in the giant mattress lying in the middle of the room, covered for protection, but its shape unmistakable.
"That’s a...mattress?" He confirmed and Cass nodded.
"So we can all sleep on it." Cass muttered, before he cleared his throat. "All of us." He clarified and Lucian began to rumble. Cass wasn’t prepared for the way the man began to rub his face against Cass’. It was clearly a sign of affection, even if it was overwhelming.
"Oh how lovely you are, Cass." Lucian muttered and Cass flushed.
"S-Stop it! Don’t mark me!" Cass protested and Lucian paused, before he laughed and continued doing it.
"So you know what I’m doing? Even sweeter. Why is it in here?" He asked and Cass coughed.
"I wanted to wait until you showed up. So we could all sleep on it together the first time." And every time after that. Cass didn’t have to say it, but from the way that the men were looking at him and their heated gazes, they could gather the subtext.
Lucian squeezed him tightly in his arms, peppering him with soft, feather-like kisses.
"Sam is gathering the staff to assemble the bed?" Lucian asked and Cass nodded. "Good. Why don’t you show me around the rest of your den, Cassy Baby? That way I know everything. As long as you’re okay with that." Lucian added, as if he was doing something bad. Cass laughed.
He had clearly crossed a line in his culture, but Cass didn’t mind.
"Can I walk on my own?" Cass asked, and that was where it seemed they were going to have the biggest difference in opinion.