Current EP: 1,200 / 1,000,000
Hueco Mundo was as dark and silent as ever.
Well — silent until I existed in it.
I'd quickly learned that while most Hollows craved blood and power, I craved something else.
EP.
And not just from mindless violence.
No.
My Bonus EP for Stupidity System demanded I court death in the dumbest ways possible.
Which, frankly, was turning into an art form.
Today's genius plan?
I was going to attempt a handstand.
Yes — a handstand.
At six stories tall.
On brittle, sandy rock.
In a dimension literally full of monsters that hated me.
I could practically hear my system sharpening its notifications in anticipation.
I lowered my massive hands to the ground, positioning them like some sort of demented gymnast.
"GRRUUUUUH—"
I pushed.
And immediately regretted every life choice that led to this moment.
My giant, weighty frame lurched upward — the sand cracked beneath me — and for a brief, beautiful second I was balanced.
Upside down.
Somewhere out there, a Hollow shrieked in confusion.
Then I fell.
BANG!
Face-first into a rock formation.
The ground trembled.
Debris rained down.
A couple of small Hollows panicked and fled for their lives.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed a suicidal handstand attempt — +300 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Created a minor earthquake — +150 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Terrified nearby Hollows — +200 EP]
Current EP: 1,850 / 1,000,000
I groaned under the rubble, shifting what felt like half a mountain off my back.
Still worth it.
I crawled out, only for another Hollow — this one a bat-like thing with massive claws — to swoop down, probably thinking I was easy prey.
Bad move, buddy.
In a flash of panic, I threw a Cero at my own foot by mistake.
BWOOM.
The blast scorched the sand, launched me skyward, and vaporized the bat Hollow mid-pounce.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Self-inflicted Cero misfire — +500 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Accidentally eliminated predatory Hollow — +250 EP]
Current EP: 2,600 / 1,000,000
I coughed smoke and rolled across the sand like a giant, bone-plated tumbleweed.
This was fine.
This was my life now.
This was art.
A cluster of nearby Hollows cautiously peeked from behind a dune, watching the chaotic mess that was me.
I turned my head toward them, made what I hoped looked like finger guns, and clicked my tongue.
Even though I didn't have lips.
They scattered in terror.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Menaced nearby Hollows with nonsensical gesture — +200 EP]
Current EP: 2,800 / 1,000,000
I was unstoppable.
I was an idiot.
And I was gonna be the strongest Vasto Lorde this dimension had ever seen.
One faceplant at a time.
Current EP: 2,800 / 1,000,000