Current EP: 2,800 / 1,000,000
Okay, so I had a new plan.
After the handstand fiasco and accidental foot-blasting Cero yesterday (or was it a week ago? Hueco Mundo time was a lie), I realized something important.
If doing stupid things gave me EP…
Then doing really, really stupid things should give me more, right?
I mean, that's just basic science.
And thus — I, a proud Gillian-class Hollow standing six stories tall, decided it was the perfect time to invent "Cero Jumping."
The rules were simple:
Fire a Cero at the ground.
Let it launch me like a rocket.
Profit.
I raised my hand.
"GRRROOOOHHHH!"
The red energy gathered in my palm, crackling and humming with raw power.
A couple of nearby Hollows caught wind of what I was doing and immediately noped out of there.
Smart.
Me?
Not so much.
"CEROOOO!"
BOOOOOM!
The blast hit the sand, sending up a massive plume of dust — and launching my enormous, bone-headed body into the air like a giant Hollow cannonball.
For a brief, glorious moment, I was airborne.
A six-story monster soaring through the eternal night sky of Hueco Mundo.
"GRUOOOOOHHH!!"
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Executed suicidal Cero Jump — +500 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Achieved temporary aerial superiority — +200 EP]
Current EP: 3,500 / 1,000,000
I grinned like a lunatic.
Then gravity remembered I existed.
WHAM.
I crashed face-first into a massive boulder, causing it to crumble under my ridiculous weight.
Another plume of sand and rock shot into the air.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Performed catastrophic crash landing — +300 EP]
Current EP: 3,800 / 1,000,000
My entire skeleton ached.
Even though technically I didn't have muscles or nerves anymore.
I still hurt.
Somewhere off to the side, a pack of smaller Hollows was watching me with expressions I could only describe as "what in the actual hell is this guy doing?"
Good.
Let them watch greatness unfold.
I struggled to my feet, dusted off bits of stone, and was about to attempt a double Cero Jump when a sudden roar echoed nearby.
A large Hollow with four arms, a bull's skull for a face, and mean-looking horns was charging at me.
It looked angry.
And hungry.
And maybe a little confused by my recent stunt show.
"GRUHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Crap.
I could fight it.
I could run.
But…
there was a third, much stupider option.
I tried to high-five it.
Yes.
A six-story tall Gillian raised its hand, palm out, and leaned down for a friendly, sportsmanlike slap of solidarity.
The bull Hollow didn't get the memo.
It barreled into me full force, sending me tumbling across the sand like a ragdoll.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Attempted friendly greeting with hostile — +400 EP]
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Suffered humiliating defeat — +200 EP]
Current EP: 4,400 / 1,000,000
I groaned, half-buried in a sand dune.
Still worth it.
Even if my jaw was half hanging off my face mask now.
I crawled out and dusted myself off again.
New plan:
Take a breather.
Invent a new stupid stunt tomorrow.
Because apparently, I was a one-monster disaster circus.
And I was loving it.
Current EP: 4,400 / 1,000,000
Objective: Evolve to Adjuchas